Hey, new Tinder match. It's in Glasgow so this is an event.

19 years old, chubby, not particularly attractive. The usual sort of 19 year old who is at all interested in significantly older men.

Merely aspire to purchase a high volume of puppies.

Just looking for a hand to grab when I'm sad.

I have depression so that's fun.

Odd obsession with ted talks.

Wish social media didn't exist, ironically.

You've probably been to Thailand.

I was supposed to marry Reggie Kray.

Mafia movies are ridiculously important.

Can I be 3 again?

Country makes me tingle.

Everybody Loves Raymond is life.

Ross was my favourite.

Clouy lemonade though.

Main goal is to cuddle a panda.

...oh and to be poison ivy.

I assume that she means the Batman villian, not the plant.

Anthem is Body Like a Back Road by some guy Sam Hunt. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

Anyway, mentioning depression in one's profile is never a good idea but otherwise it's a fine profile. Shows a sense of humour, talks about herself. Not the usual list of wants in a partner and "if you can make me laugh, kudos to you" bullshit.

Who's Reggie Kray? Oh. I was at a court recently and some guy started talking to me about Reggie Kray. Unfortunately, in most courts you're not separated from the people who are there for criminal cases so you have to mingle with these shady characters.

So he's asking if I know who the Kray brothers are. I had a vague idea of the name but I couldn't place it. I asked if it was that guy who moved to Brazil and he said, "No, you're thinking of the Great Train Robber."

So I ask if they were mobsters and he says, "No, they were gangsters." I guess he didn't know that the words are pretty much interchangeable. Although, I guess a mobster is somebody who's in the mafia as distinct from organised crime broadly so technically he was correct.

"They killed people so people think that they were bad but that was just part of their job."

"Yeah."

"Which is worse: a child molestor or a murderer?"

"A child molestor."

"Exactly! A child molestor gets two years in prison and a murderer gets life. Would you want your daughter to be molested? She has to deal with that the rest of her life."

He's going on about this gangster philosophy. He was at least in his 40s. I don't know what he was there for but he'd been to the courts enough to recommend judges that I don't want to have. I told him that I was there for a job.

Said he used to live in Glasgow. Govan, I think he said. That's the worst part of Glasgow. The court was in some town maybe an hour from Glasgow.

Anyway, this girl will unmatch me soon.

In other news, going to the dentist soon. Just killing time on TIY--TMB. Going to have two fillings done. Then on my next visit, I'm going to have two more fillings.

The dentist was great. You know when they take x-rays and they jam a huge piece of plastic in your mouth and you have to stiffle the gag reflex? This guy didn't have that. He had a small piece of rubber or something. No problem whatsoever.

And he wasn't poking and prodding and causing pain. He just looked at the teeth did a bit of poking but absolutely no pain. Most of his search was visual. And he came up with the same four teeth that needed fillings as the previous dentist that I went to six weeks ago who really caused some pain in her examination.

I'm going to go for the white fillings. I have the money. Why not splurge? Eventually, when the fillings need to be replaced, I'll get all of them white.

I think the silver fillings are £17 or something on the NHS and the white ones, he's charging £75. So it's not a huge difference, in my opinion. It's more than three times as much, of course, but I can manage it. I'm making the big bucks.