I used to take the bus to and from high school. Not the school bus like in television but the regular city bus. And not the semi-decent city buses that one finds in the UK but rather the horrendous city buses that one finds in the US. The type that have extremely irregular service and are only used by the extremely elderly and the extremely poor.

This was for 9th and half of 10th grade. Then I went to a closer school so was able to walk.

But also on this bus journey were two really unattractive girls. Indeed, the two least attractive girls in our grade. They were friends. That's how school seemed to work, as I've gone over fairly recently. "Cliques" and so forth based on appearance.

One day, a boy who took the bus the bus with us was telling me and another boy who took the bus about his blowjob policy: anyone can suck his penis. He had standards for intercourse but as far as fellatio is concerned, everyone is welcome.

I doubt that anyone had taken him up on this offer but that was the position.

So this little rat boy who heard this story told this unattractive girl that this guy said that her unattractive friend could suck his penis. That's technically true but he didn't explicitely say, "you know that unattractive girl who takes the bus? She can suck my penis."

So this fat unattractive girl (I should have named these people to make the narrative easier to read but I don't want to go back now) was saying, "Oh my God, I have to tell (this other unattractive girl).

Then this rat boy says, "He also said that you can suck it." And she got serious and said, "Shut up. That's not funny." And the rat boy said, "It's true!" turns to me and says, "Didn't he say that?" And I said, "Well, he did say 'anyone'" which, of course, sounds insulting but I didn't mean it that way.

Anyway, this average-sized unattractive girl had a son when she was like 15. Then some more kids. Her youngest is 8, I think. No father around. But she must have found somebody's penis to suck. Well, I guess suck isn't essential but she found somebody to fornicate with her.

That fat unattractive girl also has children but I think she at least waited until she was 18. I think. She has children AND a husband (who I think is the father of these children) so she did better than this other girl. She also has a job, which is one better than this other girl.

It's crazy, though. I don't think that I have to say any more than these were the least attractive girls in our grade. Possibly in the whole school (9th through 12th grade). And yet, there were some dudes out there who didn't mind.

Checking out Facebook. The average-sized girl posts 90% news items. You know...because when you're looking for news, you go to some white trash middle aged woman's Facebook page.

Wow, Hugh Hefner died? Well, okay. This was a worthwhile exercise.

This fat chick posts pictures of her and her family. She has a fat husband and fat children.

Both of these women live in the same ghetto that they grew up in. Well, that's not quite true. They live in the same area, though.

So this guy. I think that he got married fairly recently. Within the past few years. Has a young daughter. Married to a kind of fat chick. Not obese but overweight. And this wife has maybe four children, I assume from another relationship. Maybe just two children and two of these young children are her grandchildren. Because two of these kids are clearly over 18.

So good for him. Found himself a fat either baby machine or grandmother to suck his dick. At least he's in California.

Speaking of losers, I apparently have over 3 matches waiting for me on Tinder. They have a new "gold" system. They want you to pay to see your matches. Some weird shit. But usually this gold thing doesn't even appear for me, which means I don't have any matches waiting for me. Or sometimes it will appear but just be blank which means I have one match waiting.

But 3? I've only seen this when swiping in Bahrain. What can it possibly be? Prostitutes? Spammers? A scam by Tinder? Let's find out.

I have to wait 25 minutes but oh God, I really hope it's not this black woman who appaears at the top of my list. Often, it's the person at the top of your list who's a match. Really man-looking. Oh. Well, this explains it. It's a man. I mean, I clearly state in my profile that I'm not interested in men. Take the hint. A man in a dress is still a man.

Had a match yesterday with a 33 year old unattractive black woman. There's no pleasure to be had in unmatching people solely based on appearance but it happens. There are three levels of matches that I get:

1. Women I message.

2. Women who I don't message but keep in my match list.

3. Women I unmatch

The second tier is for unattractive women. Tier three is for painfully unattractive women. Tier one is usually average-looking women who don't reply to me.

Also had a match recently with another black woman. She even messaged me first. She was reasonably attractive. Her profile said, "I'm looking for somebody to pretend to be my boyfriend so that I can fool my family from finding out that I have a sugar daddy." Something like that. Apparently, she had a "sugar daddy" and wanted somebody to pretend to be her boyfriend for some nebulous familial reason.

So she says, "Hi! " to me. I reported her for prostitution and she was immediately banned from the site.

My profile suggests that I make a lot of money. So I suspect that that's what she was looking for. A "sugar daddy". Or another one, if she already has one.

Here's the thing, though. If I was in the market for a "sugar baby", it sure as hell would not be a 27 year old black woman. I mean, let's get real.

Oh, my profile also says that I'm not interested in prostitutes. So again, some dumbass who can't read.

Also got a match with a woman who I matched with in one of my previous Tinder go arounds. She must not have any self-respect. I didn't talk to her then and I'm not talking to her now. She's not painfully unattractive but she's unattractive. And all of her pictures are "selfies" in the same position. She's a "health visitor" cum nurse which makes me think, you know, not a nurse but one of those nurse assistant people. I don't know what it's called.

I'm getting some decent work, by the way. Last month was pretty good. This month, not good but I had two days last week for some last minute job and I have two days this week for a last minute job. As long as I get two days a week, I'm happy with that. And I already have two days a week booked for November. And a four day case in December. So things are looking good. Even have two days in January already. And some guy emailed me recently saying that he has a big case early next year that he's going to offer when he finds out the dates. So if I don't have anything else booked by then, that would be great.

Tinder then. Here's the first match. A bot.

That's it. Something of an anti-climax. I wonder where there other two are, if anywhere.

Actually, there's a slim chance that this isn't a bot. She's unattractive. Would a bot use unattractive pictures?

I thought it was a bot because it says that she's from Brighton. These bots often have locations that don't match where I'm at. It could be that she's just traveling, I guess.

Anyway, bot or unattractive, the result is the same: I'm not messaging.