Dream of the Week

I found the solution to dating hideous women off of the internet: encourage them to get breast augmentation surgery. I was dating that unattractive former solicitor from Hong Kong who was a real 1 in terms of appearance but after the surgery she was bumped up a couple of points. And I didn't skimp. These were E cups at least.

I mean, a butterface Asian woman with some E cup tits and a slim body, that's genius. I woke up and was looking for this woman's number so that I could share my brilliant plan with her. Fortunately, I came to after a few seconds but it really isn't a bad idea. I don't know why more unattractive women aren't doing this.

How much money is this? £3500 to £7000, apparently. These women had good jobs. They can afford that. I'd even go halves on it, if we were in a serious relationship.

Mail of the Week

HSBC are pleased to announce that they're increasing their interest rates on savings accounts: from 0.25% to 0.5%.

What an insult. It just made me think, "I really should put my money somewhere else." I'm not even using the savings account because the interest is so low it's not worth the few seconds it takes to transfer my money from my main account to my savings account.

Although, I've looked at competitors before. 1.5% is absolute top rate. Not worth it. And a lot of this shit doesn't pay anything on amounts over £3,000. Stuff like this. It's a huge hassle for very little return.

Bonus mail: a Christmas to previous occupants. Thanks, Auntie Caroline and Uncle Andrew.

I think that they sent a card last year too. How do people lose touch with their families like this? Well, I guess when you move you don't necessarily forward your new address to your aunt and uncle.

But if these people are close enough to send Christmas cards, wouldn't they know that you've moved?

Well, whatever. No Christmas cards from any of my relatives. Not that I've ever sent them Christmas cards. But I did send my nieces like £200 worth of shit. That's not worth a card? Or at least a response to my email saying, "Did my stuff arrive?"

Food of the Week

M&S has some wacky stuff. I got a refigerated pizza from them recently. "Detroit style".

Now, I've lived in the US for 27 years. Reasonably close to Detroit. I've never heard of Detroit style pizza.

Does Detroit have it's own style of pizza? Probably. But if I don't know what that style is as an American who lived not too far from Detroit, how is a British person going to know?

I'll be damned. This was not a marketing gimmick. I looked it up just now and indeed, this is Detroit style pizza. Apparently, in Detroit they have square pizzas. Even the crust looks similar.

So I take it all back. M&S does in fact sell a genuine Detroit-style pizza. Although, why anyone would want such a thing is another matter.

This thing was £5, so not cheap, but it weighed a lot. Also came with a little packet of BBQ sauce to drizzle on the pizza after it's cooked.

But as for the all important taste: it's not good. I ate half of it yesterday, refigerated the rest, and at almost the rest of it today. Not some that I'd buy again. It's just bad. Not Dr Oetker bad, not so bad that I throw it out, but you have to wait until you're REALLY hungry before you can make any kind of dent into this shit.