I got a letter from the bank telling me that they suspect that I'm an American so I have to fill in some bullshit. I had to either prove that I'm not American or admit that I am. So I went with the latter.

This was another reason why I didn't want to change banks. I opened that first account before all of this shit. Banks are required to give tell the American revenue service the account details of all Americans, including how much money is being held. How is this possibly legal?

So I'm thinking that I might get a letter asking why I haven't filed taxes for the past 15 years. Well, I was planning on doing this anyway after I discovered that my loan is no longer being collected, apparently. But I'm not sure that that's the case.

It's not like I owe any money anyway. But it's total horseshit. Why do I have to file taxes every year when I don't owe any money? And why would I owe money anyway to a country that I don't live in and didn't do any work in?

Hopefully, this hugely unpopular law is repealed soon.

Is there other news? I guess there isn't. Nothing going on with the dating apps. I mostly use Happn to "unlike" women. Very few lookers there.

Nothing on Tantan. I mean, I have 18 likes in 4 days, which is way more than I get on Tinder, but what good is it when they live outside of Scotland or even outside of the UK? There's a woman in Edinburgh but she didn't reply.

There's actually an amusing choice on Tantan when you unmatch with somebody. It asks you why you're unmatching and one of the options is "they don't talk". Tinder should steal this. It would become the number one reason why people unmatch.

Another amusing reason is "I don't want to tell you."

Oh, I did actually get a Tinder match recently. Hannah, 18, chubby. She doesn't talk, though.

Dump news, I guess. Took an old school bloody crap yesterday. This is pre-granola cereal faeces. I haven't eaten that cereal in a couple of weeks so that's likely part of the problem. I have to get back on that train. And I think that American Hot pizza really wreaked havoc with my intestines.

Here I am talking about poop and I forgot the most important story for today. I went to the bank. The new bank. I had a question about my account opening and also this letter that I got. So the woman answered the questions and then when she saw my balance, she asked if I'm available to come in to talk with an advisor about what kind of account I should open. I said that I already chose the accounts that I want but she said that they're basic accounts and I should talk about a better account. So I said fine. I thought maybe there's some secret account that they don't advertise or they accidentally put me on the basic account.

So I went back later in the day for the appointment. No, it was a waste of time. The account I chose was the right one. But at least I had that paper that I was able to turn in.

This advisor said that the other woman made the account because of the large balance in my account. She said that they offer consultations once a year and suggested that I take advantage of that.

That's the way banks are supposed to treat customers who have tens of thousands of pounds in their account.

By contrast, I also went back to my old bank today to make sure that they closed the account. The woman asked for my bank card so that she can check the account. I gave it to her, she confirmed that everything is closed, and then she neglected to return the card to me. I didn't remember until I was already down the road so I just left it. But this was intentional. Yes, the account is closed and I don't need the card any more but the card belongs to me. It's for me to decide what to do with the card. But this is the service which one gets at HSBC.