Hey, new Tantan match. Actually, I get about one new match a day. I'd get more but I don't swipe much. What's the point? They don't live in Scotland. A lot of them live in other parts of the UK but that's still too far.

I matched with a woman in Liverpool as my first match and she recently unmatched me. I just stopped talking to her after she told me that she's in Liverpool. There's no point. What does she expect to happen? Maybe she just wanted to practice her English or something.

Still, the fact that she unmatched me suggests that she was angry. I was content to leave her on my list and not talk to her. But she must not have liked that so decided to teach me a lesson by unmatching me.

Anyway, I downloaded the app a week ago and I've had 30 likes since then. On Tinder, I probably get 30 likes in a year. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration. Let's say 30 in six months. Actually, I don't know. A year might be pretty right.

Anwyay, newest match is some woman with a Chinese name, 22, lives in Kezhou. Kezhou doesn't even have a Wikipedia page.

It appears to be a village in southern China near the border with Vietnam. The wonders of the internet. You can talk to women in tiny Chinese villages.

Well, only if you learn Chinese. She sent me a message. I had to look up what it meant because it was in Chinese. It translates as, "Hello, how are you?"

Well, whatever your name is, I'm doing great. But what's the point of this? You live in a tiny Chinese village and I live on the other side of the world. Are we supposed to date now? We don't even speak the same language. And you're like half my age. I don't think it's going to work out.

More promising, although not really, is that I got a response from this Scottish woman who works as a mental health nurse. I asked something about if crazy people seek out employment at mental health institutions or do they become crazy after working there. But I was more tactful than that. She suggested that it was the former.

I don't know if I'm going to continue this, though. It's a big crazy Scottish woman who lives like 20 miles away. What must that be? Airdrie? Some shit.

Although...I don't know. Why not? I have nothing else to do. She seems pleasant. We don't have to get married. Get a drink, get out of my crappy flat. Maybe.