So I emailed my cousin about moving to Finland. My idea is to buy a £25,000 Patek Philippe watch then move to a small town in Finland and just drink all day. It will be just like Leaving Las Vegas. Except in Finland. And the relationship with a prostitute is probably a long shot.

I'm thinking maybe Lapland. But not the capital of Rovaniemi. Too many students. Wait. Maybe that could be good, actually. The young people.

62,000 people in Rovaniemi. And it looks crazy on Google maps. Bunch of bright, colourful signs on the buildings. I thought it was some kind of drawing at first.

What's the housing cost there? Not that it matters because my hope is to get the equivelent of council housing. Tough to find. The websites are probably all in Finnish.

Numbeo.com says €600/month. Crazy. For a one bedroom flat on the edge of the earth? It's €1000 in Helsinki but...it's Helsinki. Beer is much cheaper in Rovaniemi, though. €2 versus €6.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. Get out of shitty London. And stop working. I loved not working. It was the best time of my life. Also, no blacks or Muslims. And can learn some Finnish. Soak up the culture.