Finally got the lease for this flat. It's really weird. They did no background check, no credit check, didn't take a deposit, absolutely nothing. But I'm going to their office on Monday to pick up the keys and sign the lease. They haven't given me any bank details to make payment. Nothing.

So it's all last minute. I couldn't do all the shit you have to do in prepatation of moving because nothing was official. It still isn't, I guess. I haven't signed the lease.

But I've started boxing shit up. Actually, I never unboxed most of my shit so hopefully there's not too much work ahead of me.

I texted the moving guy who I used when I moved in. He's still in the business and said he'd get back to me on a suitable date for the move.

I'm working all next week, which was a bad idea. I thought that my move in date was a bit earlier. So now I'm going to have to move at 5.00 in the afternoon and that's not ideal. Not ideal for the moving guy either. But I just don't like the idea of moving at night. The van doors are wide open when you're moving shit in and out and it's unprotected.

I guess what can they really steal? I have big boxes of shit. Nothing that's easy to carry is particularly valuable.

I called to move my broadband provider. Some guy who sounds like he's Indian or Filipino. He says there's no phone line in the new property. It would be £60 to install a phone line but he'll waive that if I sign a new contract. And the contract will be for a lower price.

This is a common scam and I knew this one going in. I don't want to sign a new contract. I signed a one year contract probably three years ago and then it just ended and became a rolling contract.

So I tell this guy, "I don't want a new contract." He says, "What do you mean?" I say, "Okay, give me the price and maybe I'll do it." He says it's going to be £9/month then he says a bunch of other shit that I can't figure out and then he says "for two years."

So I say, "Did you say that this is a two year contract?" He says, "Yes". I say, "I'm not interested. Goodbye."

They need a better script. I'm not interested in getting the cheapest possible broadband. I don't care about price. I care about not being locked into ridiculously long contracts.

This company, PlusNet, by the way, initially gave me a contract for like £5/month. Then the phone was whatever £15/month. After a year, the price rose to £15/month for the broadband. I don't even know what I'm paying. I think it's like £35/month for combined phone line and broadband. I don't care. They had this rock-bottom introductory internet price, it went up after 1 year, I knew it was going to go up, I didn't care. I continued to pay it even though I'm sure that I could have found a cheaper provider.

So I decide that I'm going to cancel the broadband. I call back. Somebody else this time. Some English faggot, I think. Cameron. Completely rude piece of shit and he refused to cancel the broadband. He needed more information for "data protection" reasons. And he's a complete asshole about all of this. I say, "You're in retention, are you not?" He says, "Yeah, and cancellations." I say, "You're terrible" and hang up.

This guy's job is to suck the penis of everyone who calls in to get them not to cancel. When I called to cancel my 02 broadband, back when they existed, the woman offered me free broadband for a year. The line rental would continue at the normal price but free broadband if I sign up for a year. I declined.

So I called PlusNet back. Spoke to somebody else. I say that I'm moving and I'd like to cancel my account. He says, "Is there a reason you don't just want to move the service to your new address?" I say, "Well, I was going to. But then this guy wanted me to sign a two year contract. And he was an asshole. Then I spoke to somebody else and he was an asshole too." So the guys says, "Fair enough" and cancelled the service. There's bullshit cancellation charge that I may or may not pay. I have to look into the legitimacy of it.

Then I went looking for broadband providers for my new address. Virgin is available. They had some bullshit bundles. £29/month for internet and phone but rises to £40/month after a year.

But they have a broadband-only deal for £33/month that doesn't change price. So that's what I went for.

The contract is for one year. None of the contracts, for any service provider, including PlusNet, are for two years. They're 18 months at the most.

These dumb motherfuckers had a long-time customer, who doesn't care about price, and had no interest in changing providers and they throw it away over some scam bullshit. You don't have to try to con me. I'll happily pay your inflated broadband price. Just don't try to make a fool out of me. Two year contract. Suck a dick, faggot.

In stool news, my long run of non-bloody poop is over. Just a little bloody, though. I think it's from that back to back sloppy joes. Bought some bread today, though. Threw those bagels out.