You know what I miss about London? Those old cockney guys yelling "EVENING STANDARD!" When it went to a free paper, you didn't really see many of those guys any more. They just became a tourist attraction, of sorts, in the more touristy areas.

You know what I don't miss about London? Everything else.

I've been here for over three years now. That's surprising. I came here in like August 2015. Three and a half years.

Hey, new Tinder match. Those last two mastadons unmatched me. It's so discouaging when somebody you didn't even want to message decides to umatch you.

Anyway, I can't actually see who matched me. They want you to pay for that. But if you just wait, you usually find out who they are in your next swiping session.

You can see a blurry picture of them and if you keep refreshing the app, you can sometimes figure it out. They'll put them as the first picture. The blurry picture is just a mass of caucasian-coloured pixels. So it's either somebody who has some art picture of the desert or something or somebody with an extreme close up.

Maybe it's 32 year old Sammi. Extreme close up pictures of her face really aren't flattering. Really unattractive woman and her last picture is her showing off her giant, saggy tits in a blurry picture. Actually, if it is Sammi, this would be one of my better matches.