Dream of the Week. I was in some kind of a hostel and there was a woman in my bed. We were just talking but I was all excited because we were sharing this bed and getting along okay.

Then I left and she started talking to some other guy who ended up in bed with her. They were obviously getting along much better.

Then a pizza delivery man arrived with pizza and flowers. So I assumed that they were having sex in this bedroom which had the door closed. The pizza man was unable to enter so he just left the pizza outside the room. When the pizza man left, they opened the door and were laughing about the situation.

So I decided to order a pizza from my home town and have it delivered to one-up this guy. Real pizza from Chicago. It arrived frozen so I had to wait for it to thaw but it was still impressive. At least I was impressed.

Then I got hostile and pulled a gun on everyone. This guy who was such a badass lady's man before was now a cowering pussy. I threatened everyone and roughed people up a bit but eventually I calmed down and said I was going to go to my room to enjoy my pizza.

Then two guys who were sort of South Asian but not really were trying to cheer me up. They said that they'd order food from their home country. I said that I wasn't interested but they ordered anyway. It was like meat and potatoes in a giant bag. That's why I said they were sort of South Asian but not really. They had an odd skin tone and this food was not from any country that I'm aware of, certainly not South Asian in origin.

So I decide to go outside to the beach area. I sit on one of those fold out chairs and see the sign for the hostel. It has a number of different flags on it and they're somehow connected. I'm trying to figure out the connection. At first, it appeared to be all Commonwealth flags. They had South Africa on there for sure and possibly Australia but they also had the US flag prominently on there. So it can't be commonwealth. Then I looked closer and saw the Korean flag and some other Asian-looking flags so this only further confused me.

There were two middle aged men and a woman also on these fold out chairs. They were drinking and having a good time with sexual innuendo and whatnot. I tried to ignore them. Then I look over at the beach and see the most beautiful animal I've ever seen. We lock eyes and I'm just amazed that I've never seen an animal like this before. I can't figure out if it's like a seal or some kind of bird.

So I get my phone out because I want to take a picture of this thing. But as I do, it approaches me. It's sort of waddling like a walrus. It's quite a large animal. I'm freaking out and the men and woman are scared too.

Then this animal lays on top of me. I'm suffocating and trying to yell for help but I'm only able to whisper because of the weight of this beast. The other people there don't do anything and I'm freaking out because I can't yell for help.

Then I woke up. That's why I'm up at 6.00 posting on TIY -- TMB. I don't want to go back to sleep. I've been having wacky nightmares throughout the night and waking up a lot.

Hey, new Tinder match. Ophelia, 18. Where do I know that name? Oh, self-injury dot net. They had that wacky painting of a dead woman.

So I wonder if this girl's name is really Ophelia or if she's just an angsty teen who cuts herself and used the name of this suicidal fictional character. There was somebody who used the name "Ophelia" on the self-injury dot net forum who was either a moderator or a regular contributor. Might have been the toothless Gabrielle herself.

Anyway, back to Tinder. This girl doeesn't LOOK like a prostitute. There's nothing in her pictures or profile to suggest that she is. She's a pretty homely person. A 3/10. She has a picture of her in an art gallery or something, she's wearing a colourful jumper in the next photo, the third one is her with her young friend, and the last one looks like some kind of school dance where she's with a friend and both of their dates. Surprisingly big titties in this weird dress that she's wearing (which looks like a karate gi) but it's a conservative dress.

Profile says "Swipe right or I'll become a crazy cat lady".

So nothing in the pictures or the profile to suggest that she's looking for a "sugar daddy". But why else is an 18 year old "liking" a guy twice her age? And if I didn't pay for that reasonably attractive 18 year old who was looking for a sugar daddy, I'm certainly not going to pay for this girl.

I got another match but it's hidden. Nevertheless, I think I know who it is. Another 18 year old but this girl is bald. A 1/10 in appearance. She's wearing a hat in one picture and it's a closeup of her face and bald head in the second picture. I don't know if there's a medical explanation or what. Her profile talks about how she's not looking for anything serious and is 420 friendly. So possibly a "sugar daddy" situation or possibly just a lonely drug-loving girl. But if she is looking for money, God bless her. Or perhaps more accurately, God bless anyone who gives that unfortunate woman any money.