Yeah. it was that bald 18 year old. Holy shit. She mentions her fondness for Venom Dragon Soop and "smoke". I don't even know what any of that is. I assume that "smoke" is street slang for marijuana.

Let me look up Venom Dragon Soop. Oh. Some kind of energy drink, I guess. No, wait. It's a carbonated alcoholic beverage.

What a sad waste of a life based on drinking these sweetened alcoholic beverages geared to children and cannabis consumption.

Wow, I just took an absolutely wild number two. It had to be two feet. Tough to say but it came out further from the water line than I've ever seen and it also coiled because it was so long.

I haven't had this granola cereal in probably two weeks but good to see that it's still working. How is that possible, though? I'm not defecating this granola two weeks later. I don't know. Maybe some of that "good" bacteria like in that disgusting yogurt commercial.

Anyway, yeah, this bald drunk girl...not a looker. I mean, when I saw her come up I had to think for a good 60 seconds about whether or not I was going to swipe right.

On the one hand, she's 18. That would be kind of cool. I guess. On the other hand, she's painfully unattractive.

I've matched with other 18 and 19 year olds on Tinder. They never go anywhere. A lot of them are unattractive but not so unattractive that I wouldn't give them some loving. This girl...I think she is that unattractive.

Is it just the hair? She has hair but it's maybe half an inch long. It seems to be normal coverage so I don't think it's a health issue. I think even with hair, this would not be an attractive woman.

Still, that's no reason to drink and smoke yourself to an early grave. There's more to life than appearance.

I was looking up articles about this beverage. It seems to be popular with "ned" youths in Scotland. Anyway, one of the other articles on the site talked about piercings and "holes" and it reminded me of the greatest night of television comedy of my life: the time that a Muslim girl asked how many "holes" people have.

Man, I wish I could find footage of this. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Was it The Sex Education Show? Quite possibly. That ran from 2008 to 2011. So the time frame seems about right. Maybe earlier than I would have imagined.

Oh, it's got to be it. Here's a full episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ5fMKCyt1A

And yeah, the "bumpers" or whatever would be adolescents asking sex questions just like in the episode above. "What's the average penis size" and stuff like this.

But among these normal school-aged sex questions there was this Muslim girl who says, "How many holes do people have?" I almost fell off of the fucking futon.

How poorly educated and/or unintelligent and/or repressed and/or inbred does somebody have to be to ask this question? Next time you're taking a bath, start counting.

But more to the point, who cares? To be honest, I don't know how many "holes" people have either. It gets into a grey area. Do eyes count as holes? Do ears? How far into the body does an orifice have to go before it becomes a hole? What about nipples? For men and women? How about sweat glands?

This guy on Youtube seems to have a lot of full episodes. I'll have to subject myself to some "binge" watching to try to find this girl.