You know, there used to be a miniature golf course in my hometown. It's gone now but I can't find much of anything about it online. Just articles from like 1998 at the latest. It must be long gone.
I went there maybe three times. I don't think that it was popular. It was next to a lake. The lake where Leopold and Loeb dumped the body of Bobby Franks. There were a number of bodies dumped in that lake but that was the most famous. People actually swim in there. Overwhelmingly Mexicans today but as a kid, you'd see white families swimming in there.
There's a little island in the middle of the lake and as kids, we'd talk about wanting to swim out to that island. But then somebody would say that it's just where they dump garbage. I don't know if that's true or not. It probably is. So not the little island paradise that we had envisioned.
There was a plan a few years ago to erect a giant plastic replica of the Statue of Liberty on that island. Somehow, the city acquired this statue from another city. That plan was never brought to fruition.
But yeah, they opened a miniature golf course in the park probably in about...1990. It wasn't anything amazing but it was something. I went there once on a school trip or Cub Scout trip. And I went once with my friend but then it started to rain so we tried to get our money back (we hadn't even started playing) but they refused to give the money back, saying, "If business was better, I would, but I can't". So they really needed our two bucks or whatever it was.
Must have shut down years ago. Apparently, there's a pavilion around there now, though. Or "Pav" as it's evidently known as. Their own website calls it that. I'd refuse to go there on this basis alone. "The Pav"? Fuck off.
Limp Biscuit was there this past July, it seems. Some guy from Houston gives a scathing review of the venue and the locals. Think about that for a second. A guy from TEXAS is calling people hillbillies and inbreds. It's undoubtedly a dump and the local people are poor but they aren't hillbillies or inbreds. Most of those people have never seen a cow in their lives. It's not a rural area and it's nowhere near the Appalacian Mountains. Words have meanings. You can't just throw out random insults.
It seems that the nearby non-mini golf course is still open, though. It seems to have generally positive reviews too. That's remarkable because there was a big scandal at the time that the thing was being built on top of some sort of industrial waste dumping ground.
Yeah. Look at this. I'm not making this shit up:
In 1992, Mayor Thomas McDermott Sr. contacted Charles Howard to see if the Texas architect could come up with a plan to build a major golf course on the site of an industrial waste heap known then as Bairstow Mountain.
Huge URL so I won't paste it here. Here's another article, though:
From dump to fields of green
Hammond hailed for putting a golf course over a landfill, but questions linger on soaring costs
So people are playing on top of this industrial slag that poisoned the lake, killing all the fish.
I was listening to a Tony Schiavone podcast recently. He's quite unlikeable but it's not a character flaw. He's just not a personable guy. He seems awkward and appears to use excessive profanity simply for the shock value.
Anyway, he was watching an old episode of WCW Monday Nitro wherein Hogan took on the Ultimate Warrior. The camera panned across the audience and Schiavone opined, "These kids must be in their 30s now and the parents in nursing homes."
It reminded me of a joke on Mystery Science Theatre 3000. They were watching a short film about the circus. It was in black and white, probably shot in the 1930s. They panned across this huge audience of kids and parents and grandparents enjoying the circus. Then one of the characters in the show said, "All of those people are dead now."
I wish I would have taken some pictures of that miniature golf course. You think that things are static and there's plenty of time to do everything but of course that's not the case. Thinking back of living in London, there's some nostalgia. I wouldn't like to live there again but just the fact that I was younger maybe I could have done more stuff. Gone out with some sexy women. Although, realistically, perhaps I did my best.
So that's another thing. If you do your best, you can't really have any regrets. I went out with loads of women while I was there. My interpersonal skills improved. They never became good by any means but there was improvement and I did what I could.
One day, I'll be nostalgic about living in Glasgow and doing this job. So you have to make the most of it. I was thinking specifically about taking pictures of shit but do I really want to see pictures of that miniature golf course or other stuff from my childhood? Not really. It would be interesting for two seconds as an aide memoire but that's about it.
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