I'm thinking of taking up whittling. Just to have a hobby, you know. Keep myself occupied. Have an answer to "what do you do in your free time?" Also, think of all the awesome wooden chains I could make once I got good enough.

Could also make a pipe, apparently. When I first saw this picture, I thought it was a sex toy. I'll just link to it.

https://cdn.instructables.com/FC9/2AUS/FH0JOTIH/FC92AUSFH0JOTIH.RECT2100.jpg

Speaking of dildos, it's crazy to think that Ms Powers used to use one on herself when talking to me. Well, that's not quite true. It was a vibrator.

But she'd be sitting there with a vibrator in her, possibly totally naked, and talking about my phallus. "Play with it", "I want to suck it", "I want to bounce on it", an so on.

She would usually just refer to my penis as "it" if at all possible to try to maintain some decorum, I guess. But "I want to bounce on it"? She's talking about putting my penis in her vagina. Sexual intercourse. That's hardly subtle.

"Oh, I think it might be too big" was a regular comment. Of course it isn't. The human vagina can accomodate even the largest of human penises. But it's a thing that many people seem to think. So I suggested that she can grab the base and take as much as she wants. "I want all of it." I came like two seconds later.

She said "cock" a lot too. I think that's probably the most vulgar term for a penis so from one extreme to the other.

One time she was angry with me because I wrote a message on a forum so she says, "Do you think I want to see a big ape play with his...erm...banana?" She must have been up all night coming up with that zinger. Up all night enjoying her vibrator.

Wow. Can you believe that Tinder is £28/month? They had some crazy fee structure based on your age. I wonder if they still do that. The older you were, the more you had to pay. How this wasn't challenged in court is beyond me.

Now it's only showing me Tinder Plus, which is cheaper. Why this nebulous pricing system? You think somebody on Tinder doesn't have the internet and can't check this shit out?

I've been watching a lot of Fantasy General and Ogre Battle 64 play throughs for the past few days. These are long games so the play throughs are like 150 hours but from watching just the early few parts and playing a bit of the games again myself, I realise how simple they are.

Fantasy General, for example. Game was released in 1996. I had it. Played it a lot. It always caused my eyes to redden. Eye strain, I guess. This was the only game that did this, though.

There's only like five upgrades to the units. And the enemy units always appear in the same locations. Most of the unit types are entirely useless (archers, magic users, bombadiers, light cavalry, light infantry, siege engines, probably some others).

So...you're left with a pretty straight-forward game. Put all your research in heavy infantry and sky riders. Build an army of nothing but heavy infantry and sky riders. That's it.

Ogre Battle 64 is in many ways a similar game. I never had it on the Nintendo 64 (I didn't have the console) but I played it in emulator form for quite a while way back when. It's also a game wherein you lead fantasy units through a military campaign.

But again, not many unit types. And watching him play and doing the same exact things that I would do, you realise that there's not much to the game. It's obvious what should be done. There's really only one way to do things. You send your troops out, kill the enemy units (who always appear in the same place), and capture the towns.

I like the story, though. You start off as a member of the king's army and they're crushing a communist-type rebelion and you join the rebellion against the king.

I never finished Fantasy General because it gets ridiculously hard. I never finished Ogre Battle 64 because I guess I just got bored with it.

You can play Fantasy General in your browser, though. What a time to be alive. As here:

http://www.myabandonware.com/game/fantasy-general-24m/play-24m

I think that you can do the same thing with console games too nowadays so Ogre Battle 64 is probably playable just in your browser too. Although, with both games you really need to be able to save if you want to get into it because they take a long time to play.

Yeah, here's some games to play in your browser.

https://www.emuparadise.me/playonline.php

I'm thinking of getting a controller. You can buy an XBox controller that works on the PC. So I might do some shopping. I need an XBox controller, whittling knife, socks, underpants, t-shirts. That's about it, I think. I need a new suit and shirts too but I won't get those from Amazon.